masterofstlouis | Cerulean Sins

Cerulean Sins - Chapters 10-13

Jean-Claude can't seem to bring himself to sit up straight. He's slumped in his chair, hands folded over his stomach, and so very still. That pleading look from Asher as he'd taken Musette's hand, watching as Musette hurt Asher, drawing his second's blood -- his Asher's blood -- had been enough to rip open wounds he'd rather had remained blissfully ignorant of. But now they were gaping inside him, and the knowledge that it had been Anita to set Asher up for it... that Anita had set Asher up for far worse than just being publicly stabbed...

He is both defeated and furious.

He is also tired. Simply tired. Each step forward for him left him three steps behind by the time Anita was through.

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"Why does it matter how this has happened?" Anita asks. "Why can't you just accept it. Come to bed, Asher. Please."

Suddenly, her lips begin to move, and she speaks in fluent, flawless French, and barely understands a word of it.

"My goldfinch, come to bed. Accept what she offers. Come and be with us -- with me and cease worrying about the tomorrow. It is not pity that moves me to agree with her, but love. It is an opportunity we have been waiting for, a chance to love without hiding it from her, a chance for us--"

"No, Jean-Claude," Asher shakes his head, answering in English.

"It is your desire, not hers," he counters, catching hold of Anita's hands, holding them away from him, unable to bear her touch.

"You would protect me from Musette, and for that I thank you. But I will not have one night in your bed, when I know it will never happen again. You cannot bear to see your men with other men, Anita, we all know this. How will tonight be any different?" To share a bed with Jean-Claude, and not touch him, not fully, is more torture than the status quo.

Anita reaches for him again, feeling a wave of desperation wash over her.

"I'm trying, Asher," she almost sobs. "Can't you see that? I'm trying to be all right with it. But changing takes time. Time we don't have right now for me to be perfectly okay with you being with Jean-Claude. Be with us. Meet me in the middle and we'll... we'll try. Asher, please, please don't leave, please..."

She doesn't beg often, but she does now. Anita doesn't want to see him hurt. She doesn't want to see Jean-Claude hurt. This was the only way to salvage something.

Asher is stunned by Anita's begging - he had never thought to have her so desperate for him to stay, to be with her.

"And what happens tomorrow?" He asks, softly. "I have seen you cast too many men aside, Anita, I will not join them. Jason, you had once, and never again. Nathaniel, you feed the ardeur from.." he laughs, "mon dieu, how you can sleep beside him every night and not want him, I will never understand. You have the self-control of a saint." Something Asher is very glad of, considering it means he doesn't have to share his lover with Anita.

"Why must we worry about tomorrow now?" she whispers, cupping his face with one hand. "Asher, we are losing time. Dawn will come soon, and this must be done before then. What do you want me to say? Tell me and I will say it."

They were running out of time.

"Say that you will not...how do you say...freak out, tomorrow," Asher murmurs. "Say that it is not just this one night, that you will not cast me out tomorrow."

Anita can feel Jean-Claude's eyes on her.

It all rests in this moment, in her answer now. She either makes promises she knows she very well might break or she is completely honest and watch Asher walk out on them.

The words choke past the lump in her throat. "I promise. I promise, Asher, that we won't cast you aside tomorrow, and I will try not to freak out."

It is the best she can do.

Asher looks between them, and the last of his resolve crumbles.

He gently cups Anita's face in his hands, kissing her softly, hesitantly. He's unsure and afraid, and yes, here for Jean-Claude more than Anita. But Anita is beautiful in her own way, and he would be glad to take her to bed.

Anita's fingers find their way into Asher's hair, and she parts her lips to him, welcoming him. It was their first real kiss, and Anita's cheeks flush slightly as she realizes this.

She wants him. She'd be lying if she said she didn't, though she can't tell if it's her own desire or Jean-Claude's. Tonight, though, she doesn't question it. Anita just feels, allows the lust and love she feels for Asher to fill her as they share that first, sweet kiss.

Asher's kiss grows braver, and he makes a little show of it, knowing Jean-Claude is watching them. He drops one hand down to her waist, pressing against the small of her back, forcing her close as he cups her head with his other hand.

From the bed, Jean-Claude watches them. His eyes darken with lust and want, becoming that starless blue. He thinks to just let events unfold, to take what Anita has managed to grasp for them, but he is not so selfish. His mind brushes against Asher's, a question whispered into his lover's mind.

What of your leopard?

It is a quiet offer for Asher to bow out now. It would cost Asher much, Jean-Claude knows, to walk away, but he had to bring them both back to reality. There was more than just three of them in this web, and Nathaniel deserves to be at least acknowledged, even if his permission cannot be obtained.

Asher shivers, deepening the kiss even as he answers Jean-Claude.

Mon chat knows you and I have been intimate once. He asked that if I had you, he would be allowed to approach Damian with the same intent. He... Asher hesitates, unsure. He will understand, about Anita..

Asher breaks the kiss at last, looking over at Jean-Claude, taking Anita's hand. He leads Anita to the bed, standing in front of Jean-Claude, his hand clutching Anita's tightly.

Jean-Claude gives the slightest nod. It was Asher's choice, and he cannot say he is the least bit sorry he chooses as he does. Jean-Claude reaches out to take Asher's other hand, his eyes darting Anita before settling back on Asher. "There is one thing you must know, mon ami, before this goes further. I am controlling ma petite's ardeur, but there will come a time when I lose control myself." He's counting on it, actually. "When that happens, I make no promises for what might happen."

Asher's voice is deceptively calm, and he pushes thoughts of Nathaniel aside to focus on Jean-Claude, on what is happening here, in this room. He nods understanding at Jean-Claude's words.

"I believe that it is not just the ardeur that drives Anita to take me to bed," he murmurs, hoping that it's not merely Jean-Claude's memories, either. "It matters not whether it rises."

Now his eyes slide to Anita. "Ma petite, you must set the terms of this," he says. "I have no desire to do something that will make you uncomfortable."

Jean-Claude needs to know just how much freedom he is allowed with Asher, because if Anita is not clear, he will take all Asher will give.

Anita looks between the two of them.

"Hold back the ardeur as long as possible," she whispers. If she was going to be with them both, she'd like to enjoy it as much as she is able before the ardeur steals all reason. "As for... what you're also asking..."

She feels awkward and cruel, having to lay out rules for sex.

"I..." Her cheeks again flush. "No kissing on the mouth. No touching each others groins or butts."

God, could this be any more embarrassing?

Asher raises his eyebrows, but says nothing. To be this close and not have him fully...had he known there would be these limits, he would have taken more of Jean-Claude in Milliways, would have asked for more kisses, more touches.

As it is, he merely nods, his gaze moving from Anita to Jean-Claude and back again. Tonight they can play by Anita's rules - she will cave eventually.

"We need to start," Anita says, that awkwardness still there in her. "I don't want to be in the middle of anything when the two of you die, and dawn's in just over two hours."

That? Would just be too much. She still gets squicked when Jean-Claude does it, so she's very sure she doesn't want to be in the bed when they both die.

"Two hours?" Asher shares an amused glance with Jean-Claude, a very masculine chuckle slipping from his lips. "That is barely enough time."

Jean-Claude echoes that laugh, and Anita thinks she's never heard it from him. It's that laugh that men only have when talking to other men about a woman... or sex.

She watches him crawl onto the bed, eyes following the curve of his legs up to his ass. It distracts her so much that when Jean-Claude turns and offers his hand to her, she stares at it for several seconds before realizing what it is.

Asher squeezes her hand gently, reassuringly, though he's just as distracted by Jean-Claude's obscenely tight trousers as she is. He kneels on the foot of the bed, scared to move closer.

Jean-Claude is as seemingly oblivious as ever of the effect his appearance has on others. He gestures again for Anita's hand, and this time she takes it and allows him to draw her onto the bed beside him. His other hand motions to Asher, entreating him to join them as well.

Anita slips a little on the silk sheets, and it takes both of them to catch her before she slides right off onto the floor. Jean-Claude catches Asher's eye and knows that they are both remembering the same thing -- Jean-Claude falling onto a silver mirror of the Duchess Vicante's when he was meant to be seducing her. It hadn't seemed so amusing at the time, of course, but now there is a shared smile passed between them over it.

Asher smiles brightly in return, an open, happy smile that only Nathaniel has seen, in recent years. Though this night comes with conditions, though Asher is fearful of it only being the one night, he cannot hide the simple happiness he feels at being this close to Jean-Claude, at being allowed to touch and hold him.

The memory of a not-so-suave Jean-Claude, of course, only adds to his slight giddiness.

Anita is slammed by the memory of that smile. Of when they had seen it often. It was a flood of images that Jean-Claude gives to her. That same smile when Asher's hair had been in long locks and the hat on his head graceful with feathers. That smile by candlelight. That smile while they had played chess while Julianna sewed by the fire. That smile in a spill of clean sheets and Julianna's laughter.

It has been too long since they'd seen that smile.

Jean-Claude sweeps away the bedspread, revealing sheets the same color as Asher's eyes, and Anita briefly wonders about that choice. She watches as Asher remains kneeling, and she can see his pulse pounding in his throat. She can taste his fear, like something in the back of her tongue, and she knows she can swallow it, savor it.

It is the part of her that is Richard's, the part of her that is beast, and a low growl spills from her lips as her eyes remain fastened on Asher's throat.

Jean-Claude places a hand on Anita's shoulder, tenderly. "Control, ma petite. I know other hungers are rising, but you must fight to hold on only a little longer."

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