Cerulean Sins - Chapters 41-42

[masterofstlouis]

Jean-Claude prowls anxiously in his room awaiting Anita, his black velvet opera coat not quite brushing the floor as he paces. It's not like the master vampire to have nervous energy, but something about the past nights have brought it out in him.

Asher, meanwhile, stands deathly still, tracking Jean-Claude with only his eyes. Where Jean-Claude was twilight and darkness, Asher was dawn and the sun, clad in pale gold and shiny leather.

The altercation between the two of them and Anita earlier was still eating away at him, and he knew it was doing the same to Asher. They had been given a brief moment, something close to what they both had been dancing around for months now, and then Anita ruined it by hurting Asher's feelings.

Hurting a heart not yet whole again.

He pauses to glance at Asher, his beautiful goldfinch, bright like day, and a longing in him to reach out and touch, to kiss, to just be near him, rises up as powerful as the ardeur.

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[anita_blake]

Anita looks up from her shoes to look at Asher.

"But she did destroy you, didn't she?" Anita tries to make is sound understanding, but it comes out much like everything out of her mouth comes. Asher's glare didn't leave her unaffected, but she shoves aside the discomfort it inspires. "What I meant, Asher, was that she did what would hurt you worse than death. She turned you from her affections, and through that, from Jean-Claude's bed, since her bed was his."

[ash-imperfect.livejournal.com]

Asher glares at her direct manner, though he should be well used to it by now.

"She did not kill me," he murmurs bitterly, "because she promised Jean-Claude she would not." He glances at Jean-Claude, gratitude shining in his eyes, before he lets his gaze travel back to Anita.

"Jean-Claude returned to her court for one hundred years, if she would save my life. If I died, he was free once more. So," he shrugs gently, returning his gaze to Jean-Claude, "she worked to keep me alive. There were nights when I cursed you, mon merle noir. When I begged her for death."

[masterofstlouis]

Jean-Claude looks away, unable to hold Asher's eyes. It had been for his own selfish reasons that he had bargained with Belle Morte. He had not even considered Asher's wants in the equation. With his human servant and lover dead before his eyes, and his body disfigured and in constant pain, how could Asher not have wanted death?

Thanks to Belle, Jean-Claude had conflated the ideas of love and desire, and believed that by wanting Asher to live, by fighting to keep him so, it was an expression of love. But it was only selfish desire -- the true act of love would have been to let him go as he wished.

[anita_blake]

Anita watches the men for a few minutes, and then she stands. She walks to Jean-Claude and presses her lips to his, the first kiss since before their fight. It's gentle and sweet, her hand cupping his cheek. All this sadness wouldn't have been brought up if it hadn't been for her, and she knows it.

"I'm sorry," she murmurs against his lips, filling the two words with everything she is sorry for: hurting him, hurting Asher, and dredging up things that didn't need to be dredged up just yet.

Then she goes to Asher, cupping his face gently and kissing him. It's just as sweet and tender as her kiss to Jean-Claude, Jean-Claude's taste still on her lips. "I'm sorry, Asher," she whispers. "Please, don't leave us. Give us time to find out if we can all work. Just a little time before you try to find somewhere else to go."

[ash-imperfect.livejournal.com]

Asher reaches out, his fingers gently brushing Jean-Claude's sleeve in wordless forgiveness, unable to fully bridge the gulf that lies between them, to forgive his old friend, lover. There's too much between them, still, too many years. But he no longer longs for death, and the hope of repairing what he had with Jean-Claude in years past is one of the reasons why.

He kisses Anita back, just as gentle and just as sweet, closing his eyes. He listens to her soft pleas, nodding once, slowly.

"I will stay," he promises, "for now at least."

[masterofstlouis]

Jean-Claude closes his eyes, stilling his heart and his breathing. That, at least, is one weight off his shoulders.

When he opens them again, he is calmed and centered. "And now, chers, I believe we have other matters to attend this night. Shall we finish getting ready?" He motions Anita toward the closet where her outfit is waiting.

[anita_blake]

Anita lingers, staring at Asher for a moment, her fingers on his shoulder. She feels Jean-Claude's relief, and while she feels a sense of relief in Asher's words, she can't help but worry about the 'for now' part.

Slowly, she parts from the blond vampire, and heads towards the closet and Jean-Claude. "All right, but I'm telling you, if I don't like it, the next person wearing it is you."

[ash-imperfect.livejournal.com]

Asher laughs, that wonderful, touchable laughter, giving his gift free reign. He walks towards them both, humour still glimmering in his eyes as his laughter fades, with one last caress of his voice against Anita's skin.