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Oct. 28th, 2009 08:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
He's dreaming.
He knows this because he doesn't dream.
And since the last thing he remembers is going to bed at Milliways, and he's now walking through the halls beneath the Circus, it's not too difficult to figure out.
What is difficult to figure out is why now, after 600 years, he would be dreaming at all.
He knows this because he doesn't dream.
And since the last thing he remembers is going to bed at Milliways, and he's now walking through the halls beneath the Circus, it's not too difficult to figure out.
What is difficult to figure out is why now, after 600 years, he would be dreaming at all.
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Date: 2009-10-29 01:19 am (UTC)She knows she's there -- really there -- and not where she had been, which was not dark and quiet and surrounded by those who walked in death. And her pale eyes lock on his form, someone she hasn't seen since... since before...
At the end of the hallways she remains, though.
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Date: 2009-10-29 01:26 am (UTC)On the other hand, it does seem to explain a lot.
"Julianna."
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Date: 2009-10-29 01:31 am (UTC)Julianna takes a step closer, a little confused.
"This... wasn't where I was just a moment ago."
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Date: 2009-10-29 01:37 am (UTC)"No, I would expect not, given that the grandparents of the man who built this place hadn't even been born when you died."
Jean-Claude is not one to mince words.
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Date: 2009-10-29 01:42 am (UTC)"You're not dead," Julianna murmurs. "You didn't come for us, and you're not dead."
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Date: 2009-10-29 01:50 am (UTC)It's barely above a whisper, but he knows she can hear him.
"I just wasn't fast enough."
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Date: 2009-10-29 01:52 am (UTC)"I... haven't seen Asher where I am. I've always wondered if, maybe, vampire did not go where humans went. I prayed you saved him. Did you, Jean-Claude? Did you save our goldfinch?"
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Date: 2009-10-29 02:00 am (UTC)"He almost did not survive your death, and he was scarred for many, many years afterward. But he yet lives."
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Date: 2009-10-29 02:02 am (UTC)"Good," she breathes, coming a little closer. "I'd hoped you had saved him, cared for him. My goldfinch and blackbird."
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Date: 2009-10-29 02:27 am (UTC)"He blamed me for a very long time, for you. We did not speak for almost two hundred years, and when he did return to me, it was with the intent to kill me. We reconciled, though, and he became my second here."
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Date: 2009-10-29 02:34 am (UTC)"Two hundred years? He loved you, Jean-Claude." Her brow furrows. "And you loved him. How could it come to that? To him wanting your life? How could you let that happen?"
Asher had always been the more emotionally volatile, the one who expressed what he felt so deeply while Jean-Claude carefully concealed all but his joy and happiness. Still, Julianna had never imagined that the love between the two would sour so badly.
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Date: 2009-10-29 02:55 am (UTC)"We returned to Belle Morte. It was the only way to keep Asher alive; he was too badly wounded, as well as suffering your loss. Half his body was scarred from the holy water, and Belle Morte shunned him. She would have left him to die had I not promised her a hundred years of service. He lived, but Belle ignored him, and so did the rest of her court. And she made sure I had as little time as possible to spend with him. He withdrew into himself so far that I lost him entirely. When my service ended and I left Belle's service, he chose to remain with her, tucked away from view, but ultimately safe."
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Date: 2009-10-29 03:07 am (UTC)"You... left him? You both told me how cruel Belle was. It was why we didn't travel to Paris, remained in the outlying cities and villages. And you left him with her?"
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Date: 2009-10-29 03:10 am (UTC)"He left me long before then. And I was not entirely certain that I did not deserve it for how I failed him. Failed you both."
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Date: 2009-10-29 03:14 am (UTC)They'd been in love with her, with each other, and it pains her to think of them apart. Even if they couldn't have her anymore, they should have each other.
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Date: 2009-10-29 03:47 am (UTC)"We are happier. It took hundreds of years after you, but we have each found love again. And we are learning of each other again as well."
Jean-Claude sighs and looks away again.
"I lied. About why I left," he admits past the sudden lump in his throat.
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Date: 2009-10-29 03:52 am (UTC)"You lied?" she whispers. "Why? Why would you lie to us?"
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Date: 2009-10-29 04:25 am (UTC)Jean-Claude hasn't told anyone the truth, and hadn't ever thought he would. But Julianna's eyes beg for answers, and he simply can't deny her anymore.
"The ailing mother and sister I went to visit were Belle Morte and Musette. Belle had just taken her seat on the council and had been seriously hurt in the fight. She called to her children. I went to her so Asher could stay with you. I had intended to exchange my aid for her word to leave us in peace forever."
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Date: 2009-10-29 04:35 am (UTC)There is a deep hurt in her eyes as she realizes this, understanding the depth of what had been kept from her, what she'd turned a blind eye to.
"How could you lie to us?"
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Date: 2009-10-29 04:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-29 04:50 am (UTC)"Asher did often say you were the innocent one. I can see now he was right."
She wants to touch him, but even her proximity seems to upset him. One might not know it necessarily, but Julianna knows him. She knows him well. From laughter to fear to grief, she knows Jean-Claude.
"You've changed," she murmurs. "Maybe that was inevitable. You speak of loves you each have and of learning one another. It saddens me, both for myself and for you both. I loved you." Julianna reaches up to touch his face. "I miss you."
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Date: 2009-10-29 05:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-29 05:19 am (UTC)"Ah, mon merle noir, if I could meet her, I don't think you would be with her," she murmurs. "It seems you both have changed much, and it brings a heavy weight to my heart knowing my death brought you both so much pain... separated you when all I ever wished was to keep you together. I am sorry, Jean-Claude... so very sorry."
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Date: 2009-10-29 05:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-29 05:53 am (UTC)"And yours should? You have not forgiven yourself. Has Asher forgiven you? Forgiven himself?"
She gives him a playful whap with her fingers against his cheek.
"I forgave you, even as I prayed you would save us."
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Date: 2009-10-29 06:12 am (UTC)"How can I forgive myself? More importantly, why should I? My guilt is all I have left of you, save the memories. How can I let that go?"
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Date: 2009-10-29 06:18 am (UTC)Julianna cups his face.
"Your guilt is not all you have left of me. The memories, yes, and I know you keep those close, but you have Asher. He loved me too. Your guilt -- as well as his, I'm sure -- should not be what ties my memory to you. I would rather it be the love you hold for me, the love he holds for me, not guilt."
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Date: 2009-10-29 08:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-30 12:28 pm (UTC)"Mon merle noir possesses a flaw? Surely not, for he would fight against anything in the dark that frightened me, or hold our goldfinch through the night when fears would rise and take hold of him."
She rises up on her toes and kisses him softly, sighing against his lips. How long had she wished to that again?
"I forgive you. It is time you forgive yourself, mon amour."
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Date: 2009-10-30 07:29 pm (UTC)Perhaps some day, he thinks, knowing somehow that in this place, she will hear him. But not yet.
He can still taste her on his lips when he wakes.