Cerulean Sins - Chapters 10-13

[masterofstlouis]

Jean-Claude can't seem to bring himself to sit up straight. He's slumped in his chair, hands folded over his stomach, and so very still. That pleading look from Asher as he'd taken Musette's hand, watching as Musette hurt Asher, drawing his second's blood -- his Asher's blood -- had been enough to rip open wounds he'd rather had remained blissfully ignorant of. But now they were gaping inside him, and the knowledge that it had been Anita to set Asher up for it... that Anita had set Asher up for far worse than just being publicly stabbed...

He is both defeated and furious.

He is also tired. Simply tired. Each step forward for him left him three steps behind by the time Anita was through.

Comments

[masterofstlouis]

"And Gretchen will remain in her room for the duration of Musette's stay. We have made everyone we can as safe as possible," he agrees. "Only Asher, Faust, and Meng Die remain unspoken for."

[anita_blake]

Anita frowns.

"Faust only likes guys, and no one in Musette's entourage likes guys."

[masterofstlouis]

"Oui, that is true. But it is not an insurmountable barrier," he points out. There were times in Belle's court...

Jean-Claude sighs, clamping down on the unpleasant memories before they could take hold. He was having to do that quite a lot tonight, it seems.

[anita_blake]

"No."

Anita is firm in this, and her eyes show she won't be swayed.

"We stated the rules tonight. No one is to be harmed. To force someone to sleep with someone they find disgusting is a form of rape, and rape is harm. They can't have Faust."

[masterofstlouis]

That brings a quirk of a smile to Jean-Claude's lips.

"How devious of you to stretch the definition so, ma petite. Yes, Faust is beyond their reach. But Meng Die has no such protection, and Bartolomé would be quite taken with her."

[anita_blake]

Anita smirks.

"But Meng Die doesn't like children, so Bartolomé would have to rape her to get her. Again, rape is harm, so..."

[masterofstlouis]

"So she, too, is safe," he finishes. "Very efficient. Asher, though." Jean-Claude sighs. If he could be honest about their associations in Milliways, or even just Asher's attachment to Nathaniel... But he gave his word to keep their secrets.

"Asher has had and enjoyed sex with Musette in the past. And since you have laid down the rule of no physical harm, there could be no torturous aspects, only fucking. I fear we have no fair objection there."

[anita_blake]

She feels her temper rankle.

"Just because he consented in the past doesn't me her taking him in the present wouldn't be rape. He doesn't want to have sex with her."

[masterofstlouis]

"You are correct, of course, and I do not disagree. But it is not a justification that Musette will accept. Asher likes her gender, and has enjoyed sex with her in the past, so Musette will argue he will not be harmed, and there is nothing we can say against it."

[anita_blake]

Anita stares at Jean-Claude in shock.

"You really believe there would be no harm done if Musette has sex with him?"

[masterofstlouis]

Jean-Claude shakes his head. "I did not say that. I said Musette will argue it. She does not believe it either, in truth, and will want to do it precisely for that reason. But we are just as trapped as she by the boundaries we set down tonight. She will be certain that Asher has an orgasm, and to Belle, that is proof enough of a man's enjoyment of the act."

[anita_blake]

"She doesn't understand the difference between love and lust," Anita mutters, desperately unhappy about this. "Why is it Asher we can never protect? Why him we can't save?"

[masterofstlouis]

He sighs heavily, the weight of the world on his shoulders.

"It is a question I have asked for a very, very long time. And I am no closer to an answer than I ever have been."

[anita_blake]

Anita rests her head against Jean-Claude's knee, letting out a soft sigh.

"I've never gone this long without feeding the ardeur," she murmurs. She checks the time. "It's almost two in the morning."

[masterofstlouis]

"It will be dawn in a few hours." After so long, some things are instinctive. "I will have to withdraw my shields from you before then, and you will have to feed."

[anita_blake]

"It can't be just your control," she says softly.

[masterofstlouis]

Jean-Claude strokes her hair, content with the simple closeness of her. "Not just, no. It is your fatigue and your frustration, and also your own growing control. In a few months time, you should be down to a single feeding a night."

[anita_blake]

"My head is in your lap, and I don't feel the slightest need," Anita says, his hand in her hair absolutely calming.

[masterofstlouis]

"When dawn comes, though, my ties with you will drop, and you will feel it then. We must feed your ardeur now, ma petite." He's almost sad when he says it. Though he would never ordinarily refuse sex to Anita, Jean-Claude finds sitting here with her like this almost too comforting to give up in favor of other pursuits.

[anita_blake]

Anita shakes her head a little.

"You're as tired as I am," she whispers.

[masterofstlouis]

"Exhausted," he agrees with a chuckle. "And I would like nothing more than to curl our naked bodies together and hold one another for these next hours. As lovely as sex with you is, ma petite, I would prefer comfort."

His head falls back again, and he looks up at the ceiling. He's not sure he could meet Anita's eyes to say what he says next, even if he wanted to. "In truth, I feel like a small child who has just learned that the monsters under the bed are, in fact, quite real. I want someone to tell me that it will be all right, even though I am far too jaded to believe it."

[anita_blake]

She doesn't know why -- perhaps it was her own exhaustion or Jean-Claude voicing exactly what she herself had been thinking -- but her mind turns to other times when they'd been this tired, this frightened of the following night. But it hadn't been her. No, it had been long before her.

When it was Jean-Claude, Asher, and their beloved Julianna. How many times she'd whispered her fear to them, allowing them to feel their own and take comfort in simple embraces? So many nights when she would lay with them, warm flesh to warm flesh, and give them the ability to fear and be comforted. They had loved her, truly loved her, and her love for them had allowed them to be lovers for so long.

To become as close as they had.

Anita has seen the way Asher looks at Jean-Claude, the longing in his eyes, the tenseness around his eyes and mouth. She's seen the same in Jean-Claude when he looks upon Asher, even more so now that the scars were gone. She knows what they want, what they crave, but she was Julianna.

Anita could never been the sweet, kind, patient woman she had been.

But, she could offer them something. She could offer them sort of what they wanted while also protecting Asher. The question was, could she really do it?

[masterofstlouis]

Less exhausted, he might be able to follow something of her thoughts through the marks. As it is, though, he has neither the concentration nor the desire.

"You look troubled, ma petite. Is there something else wrong that I do not know of?"

[anita_blake]

Anita slowly lifts her head from his lap and looks up at him.

"Jean-Claude," she begins, letting out a long breath. "If Asher were... if he were truly in a ménage à trois with us... Musette wouldn't be able to touch him, would she?"

[masterofstlouis]

His face and voice go carefully neutral. He's completely taken aback by the question, and unsure of what answer Anita is expecting.

"If we could have said truthfully that he shares our bed, he would have been safe tonight, yes."