Cerulean Sins - Chapters 41-42

[masterofstlouis]

Jean-Claude prowls anxiously in his room awaiting Anita, his black velvet opera coat not quite brushing the floor as he paces. It's not like the master vampire to have nervous energy, but something about the past nights have brought it out in him.

Asher, meanwhile, stands deathly still, tracking Jean-Claude with only his eyes. Where Jean-Claude was twilight and darkness, Asher was dawn and the sun, clad in pale gold and shiny leather.

The altercation between the two of them and Anita earlier was still eating away at him, and he knew it was doing the same to Asher. They had been given a brief moment, something close to what they both had been dancing around for months now, and then Anita ruined it by hurting Asher's feelings.

Hurting a heart not yet whole again.

He pauses to glance at Asher, his beautiful goldfinch, bright like day, and a longing in him to reach out and touch, to kiss, to just be near him, rises up as powerful as the ardeur.

Comments

[anita_blake]

Anita hesitates when Asher walks away from them. She's had some time to think, some time to mull over both Asher's words and Jean-Claude's.

And she doesn't like the conclusion she's come to.

She glances at Jean-Claude, but he only makes a slight motion with his head towards Asher, a silent suggestion to go to the golden vampire. Anita takes a deep breath and slowly approaches Asher, as if she's afraid he'll run from her if she comes too close too quickly. She's thankful when Jean-Claude follows her, his hand sliding into her's, but she doesn't know quite what to say when she's standing in front of Asher.

It takes her a few minutes, but then she lifts her head to look at him.

"I think I've fucked up," she admits, not liking it one bit. "I think I've really fucked up, Asher, and I also think we should deal with that before we go out there and face Musette."

[ash-imperfect.livejournal.com]

Asher looks at her, hiding his surprise. That's the closest to an apology Anita's come, and it's entirely unexpected. It's enough of a gesture that Asher is willing to offer an apology of his own.

"I was so angry, cher," he sighs, "angry, and hurt. It did not occur tome that you might have just cause to be angry yourself." For if she had been as unwell as Jason had said she was, it is no wonder she shies away from him.

[anita_blake]

She glances at Jean-Claude, whose expression remains carefully neutral. Her eyes return to Asher, and she shakes her head.

"No, Jean-Claude was right," she says, shifting uncomfortably. "You did what I asked, even if I hadn't really known it was what I was asking for."

[ash-imperfect.livejournal.com]

Asher isn't sure what to say, other than, 'yes, I did'. He keeps his face blank, waiting for her to continue. If, indeed, she plans to.

[anita_blake]

Anita sighs, looking away from Asher and back.

"Even if you'd been able to see inside my head," she admits reluctantly, "you would have done the same thing. I wanted you to bite me. I wanted you to be in me, somehow. I didn't care how it was accomplished."

Her cheeks are a rather lovely color of pink as she talks about this, because she doesn't want to be discussing sex or apologizing.

"I just wanted it to be like it used to be for all of us, like it was of old," she quietly admits.

[ash-imperfect.livejournal.com]

"Cher, it can never be that way." Asher says sadly. "We should never have thought it would be." He looks from Anita to Jean-Claude, his eyes growing darker as he looks at his old friend. "It was foolish of us all."

[masterofstlouis]

"Foolish to try to recapture the past, perhaps," Jean-Claude acknowledges with a shrug. "But that does not mean there is no future worth pursuing. Whatever fascination you brought to ma petite's mind was done well after she made her attraction and affection for you plain enough for all -- save, perhaps, the two between whom it was shared."

[anita_blake]

Anita gives Jean-Claude a somewhat embarrassed glance, and then looks back to Asher.

"He's right," she admits softly. "I wanted you before you bit me." Anita sighs, closing her eyes. "I want you now. Still. I wanted you both inside me then, and I'm pretty sure if we were to get into bed again right now, I would want the same--"

The visual that assails her is vivid, and with it comes a sweeping sensation that buckles her knees. She grasps the mantle tightly, shivering, but it was nothing like that first flashback. Anita gasps, coming back to herself, and slowly opens her eyes as she gets her feet back under her. She brushes aside Jean-Claude's questions of her well-being, and nods. "Nothing like the first time I flashback back on the orgasm," she says with a hoarse chuckle.

[masterofstlouis]

Asher looks confused, and Jean-Claude nods. "She re-experienced the pleasure of our evening earlier today as well."

[ash-imperfect.livejournal.com]

Asher arches an eyebrow, trying to lighten the mood a little.

"A shame we could not have seen it," he murmurs, remembering how very loud she was last night, how very visible her enjoyment was.

[anita_blake]

Anita can feel her cheeks heat up. The blushing today is out of control, she thinks to herself.

"I am sorry, Asher," she murmurs, actually voicing the apology. She reaches out to touch him, because the need was overwhelming now. "We don't want you to go... I don't want you to go. Please, stay?"

They couldn't lose Asher, and the need wasn't just Jean-Claude's, and it wasn't merely from the need to protect their power base. The idea of never seeing Asher again actually makes her heart contract, hurt, and her throat tighten. They need him here, and she doesn't want to be the reason he walks away from them.

[masterofstlouis]

"The choice is yours, my dearest friend," Jean-Claude says to him in French. "I will bear you no ill will, whatever your decision. To lose you again so soon will be difficult, but what we have is not bound by distance, and time will find us together again someday."

[ash-imperfect.livejournal.com]

Asher looks from Anita to Jean-Claude, wary and unsure.

"I will hold off on my decision until Musette leaves," he answers at last.

"I have never been a patient man, my blackbird. I will not wait in the wings until you are ready for me."

[masterofstlouis]

Jean-Claude nods. "I see. Patience is something I learned the value of over a certain hundred years. Perhaps it is a lesson you should give some thought to learning as well." His voice is empty, his eyes blank, but only due to a considerable effort of will. To have waited for Asher for so long, and have him here now saying that he has no patience for Jean-Claude is a stinging blow.

He turns away. In English, for Anita's benefit, he adds, "That is most gracious of you, Asher. For now, then, there are other matters that require our most urgent attention."

[anita_blake]

Anita, for once, doesn't want to know what they'd said to each other. The expressions on both their faces tell her she's better off not knowing. She doesn't like not having some sort of assurance that Asher will stay, but she lets it go for now.

"Yeah, like Musette and this banquet."

She begins to undress, and gives Jean-Claude a warning glance.

"I swear, if I have to wear something with petticoats and stays and stuff, this will be the last you'll see me naked for a while."

[ash-imperfect.livejournal.com]

Asher doesn't say it to hurt Jean-Claude, though there is a part of him that feels a bitter triumph at the thought.

It is not just himself that he must consider; Nathaniel would never forgive him if he were to bed both Anita and Jean-Claude regularly. He must think, before commiting to such a thing.

He arches an eyebrow at Anita's threat, bemused by her refusal to dress as befits the occasion, but knowing by now that trying to force her to do anything is futile.

[masterofstlouis]

"Not to worry, ma petite. I have kept your predilections in the front of my mind. I assure you that it is comfortable and easy to move in, just as ours are."

He does another little flourish-turn to demonstrate.

[anita_blake]

Anita goes to the bed, sitting down to remove her shoes.

"So... Jason told you about Belle? What she did?"

[masterofstlouis]

"That she knows you do not have the fourth mark and has therefore given you the first one herself, oui."

He walks across the room to her, noticing how she keeps her eyes firmly on the ground.

"You will not look at me, ma petite. What is it you fear?"

[anita_blake]

It makes her uncomfortable, knowing the deep down truth of the matter. She closes her eyes, shaking her head.

"If I'd just let you give me the fourth mark, I'd be safe from her. I know that, I just... I can't do that. I can't."

[masterofstlouis]

Jean-Claude sighs and shakes his head. "Non, ma petite. No lies. Just because she could not make you her servant would not make you safe. Right now, she thinks she can have you for her own, to increase her power. If that were to change, she may decide that your death would be simpler. She is very practical in such things."

[ash-imperfect.livejournal.com]

"You are both weakened by not sharing the fourth mark," Asher murmurs, moving closer. He's aware it's a little hypocritical considering his reluctance to move forward with Nathaniel, but his life, Nathaniel's life, do not depend on it. Anita and Jean-Claude's, as well as Richard's, may do.

"Neither of you is as powerful without it. You know that."

[masterofstlouis]

He nods. "I know very well. But I also know well that what Belle cannot possess, Belle destroys."

[ash-imperfect.livejournal.com]

Asher draws in on himself, pulling away from Jean-Claude.

"Or casts it aside," he murmurs, voice full of old pain, remembered hurts at Belle's hand.

[anita_blake]

Anita looks up from her shoes to look at Asher.

"But she did destroy you, didn't she?" Anita tries to make is sound understanding, but it comes out much like everything out of her mouth comes. Asher's glare didn't leave her unaffected, but she shoves aside the discomfort it inspires. "What I meant, Asher, was that she did what would hurt you worse than death. She turned you from her affections, and through that, from Jean-Claude's bed, since her bed was his."